So today’s post is very different from what I normally post but I’ve been feeling ready to write this recently,
I feel like I’m feeling more inspired to write this as I reread all of the Girl Online books by Zoe Sugg a few months ago and I’ve been watching a lot of Zoe’s old vlogs too, does anyone else just love watching old YouTube videos sometimes?
Anyway, lets just get into it shall we? Don’t want to leave you guys wondering too long haha (you can tell I’m nervous just by what I’m writing 🙈)
Okay, so, I’m just gonna say it, then I’ll talk about it if that makes any sense
I have anxiety.
There I’ve said it.
I’ve had anxiety since 2014, which is actually how I found Zoe’s channel in the first place
So you may be wondering what caused it, let me explain
We had been out a couple of days after my Dad’s birthday to celebrate, we went to the seaside and long story short on the way home we were sat in stationary traffic and a woman in the car coming up behind was on her phone and didn’t see the traffic ahead and hit us from behind at about 70mph, writing off my mums car
Zoe is honestly a huge inspiration to me and she’s actually the reason I started this blog and part of the reason I started YouTube too
You may also be thinking, well, how did re-reading all of the Girl Online books make you want to post this?
If you’ve ever read Girl Online you will know Penny, the main character, has anxiety and her anxiety was caused by a car accident so from the first book I’ve always felt I related to Penny quite a lot and honestly there was a time that techniques mentioned for when panicking in the book have actually helped me too
I’ve had anxiety since 2014, which is actually how I found Zoe’s channel in the first place
So you may be wondering what caused it, let me explain
We had been out a couple of days after my Dad’s birthday to celebrate, we went to the seaside and long story short on the way home we were sat in stationary traffic and a woman in the car coming up behind was on her phone and didn’t see the traffic ahead and hit us from behind at about 70mph, writing off my mums car
Don’t worry everyone was okay, mostly just whiplash, thankfully
But yeah, I’ve had anxiety ever since that day
I still get pretty anxious in cars, I don’t like being in small cars
And then I just get generally anxious about many things (I have GAD which is generalised anxiety disorder)
I think that’s all I’m really gonna say on that right now, as I’m not the most open person haha and honestly I’m not sure what else to write
Onto how this relates with me finding Zoe’s channel
I actually still remember this so well
Does anyone remember when she did that YouTube spotlight video (I’ll link it here) and it was an ad on tv for a while?
Basically I’d been talking to my mum and she had said she thought it sounded like I had anxiety (this was before I was diagnosed) and I think it was that same day, we were watching tv, I think it was XFactor haha and I saw that ad and one video in that ad really stood out to me, the video about dealing with panic attacks and anxiety and I remember I searched the video on my laptop and I watched it and honestly she helped me understand it so much more, then I watched another video of hers and then I became pretty much hooked on her videos and I’ve watched pretty much every video she’s posted since then haha
There’s something about Zoe that just calms me, anytime I’m anxious I’ll watch a Zoe vlog or a funny Zoe video and I just feel better, I think it’s because she’s always been so open about when she’s anxious and talked about it and there have been so many times I’ve related to things she’s said or talked about
But yeah, I’ve had anxiety ever since that day
I still get pretty anxious in cars, I don’t like being in small cars
And then I just get generally anxious about many things (I have GAD which is generalised anxiety disorder)
I think that’s all I’m really gonna say on that right now, as I’m not the most open person haha and honestly I’m not sure what else to write
Onto how this relates with me finding Zoe’s channel
I actually still remember this so well
Does anyone remember when she did that YouTube spotlight video (I’ll link it here) and it was an ad on tv for a while?
Basically I’d been talking to my mum and she had said she thought it sounded like I had anxiety (this was before I was diagnosed) and I think it was that same day, we were watching tv, I think it was XFactor haha and I saw that ad and one video in that ad really stood out to me, the video about dealing with panic attacks and anxiety and I remember I searched the video on my laptop and I watched it and honestly she helped me understand it so much more, then I watched another video of hers and then I became pretty much hooked on her videos and I’ve watched pretty much every video she’s posted since then haha
There’s something about Zoe that just calms me, anytime I’m anxious I’ll watch a Zoe vlog or a funny Zoe video and I just feel better, I think it’s because she’s always been so open about when she’s anxious and talked about it and there have been so many times I’ve related to things she’s said or talked about
Zoe is honestly a huge inspiration to me and she’s actually the reason I started this blog and part of the reason I started YouTube too
You may also be thinking, well, how did re-reading all of the Girl Online books make you want to post this?
If you’ve ever read Girl Online you will know Penny, the main character, has anxiety and her anxiety was caused by a car accident so from the first book I’ve always felt I related to Penny quite a lot and honestly there was a time that techniques mentioned for when panicking in the book have actually helped me too
So there we have it, I’ve finally talked about this,
I know Zoe probably won’t see this but on the odd chance she ever does, thank you Zoe for helping me to understand my anxiety and what I was feeling and thank you for inspiring me to start blogging and doing YouTube, you seem like the most genuine, sweetest person and I hope to meet you some day
Thank you for being so open about your own anxiety and for inspiring me write this 😊
Anyway, I think I’m gonna leave this post here,
But I do just want to say I’m not sure if I’ll make content about this as I’m still figuring it out myself even 6 years on so I’ll be going back to my normal, cheery content now haha
I also don’t want you guys to think of me as the girl with anxiety, I feel like that’s one reason I’ve been nervous to write this, I’m so much more, this is not who I am, it’s just a little part of me
Thank you guys so much for reading and I will see you very soon for a more normal blog post,
Hanna x
Anyway, I think I’m gonna leave this post here,
But I do just want to say I’m not sure if I’ll make content about this as I’m still figuring it out myself even 6 years on so I’ll be going back to my normal, cheery content now haha
I also don’t want you guys to think of me as the girl with anxiety, I feel like that’s one reason I’ve been nervous to write this, I’m so much more, this is not who I am, it’s just a little part of me
Thank you guys so much for reading and I will see you very soon for a more normal blog post,
Hanna x
Aw girl! I hope all is better 💛 if anything I am here to talk !
ReplyDeleteThank you, that means a lot x
DeleteOh Hanna, (I have not finished reading the post yet but I couldn't wait to comment) I am so sorry to hear that awful accident that happen to you and your family. You have the most incredible strength to keep going despite the anxieties you face. You are so much more than your anxiety; you have every strength for battling it!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I couldn't believe reading it how we found Zoe in such a similar way! I've always felt we have some blog/ Youtube loving similarities; I think that's one of the many reasons I bloody love your blogging! :) As I've wrote and tweeted about during the year, I've been working on returning to blogging for quite some time and I my come back post I've been editing for 6 months actually has a part quite similar to your post about Zoe's video on anxiety. I am so sorry :'O - I promise I wrote it back in January/ February before your post! I am in awe how similar our paths have been though and as soon as I began reading your post,... yes I have been watching old Zoe videos recently too! Me and Connor have been watching a lot of Rhett and Link recently and I've been watching their old Youtube videos too, which lead me to watching Zoe's Vidocn playlists the other day!
(Have finished reading post :'D) Keep doing all that makes you smile lovely. I feel ever so lucky to getting to be a blogging acquaintance of your lovely self. :) I can't even remember how I have digitally known you for now! As always, most looking forward to your all your next content! :D
Much love,
Ellie xx
Thank you so much!
DeleteThat's so cool that we have so much in common and thank you, I'm so glad you love my blog 😊
Haha it's fine, can't wait to see your comeback post!
I just love her vlogs and videos so much haha, I love her vidcon videos they're some of my fave vlogs she's filmed
Aw, thank you so much, I can't remember either to be honest haha, I feel like it was maybe a little bit before my first Dance Q&A I wanna say, I seem to remember when answering your question saying that you were a new-ish follower haha
Thank you for such a sweet comment, it means a lot x
I don't have anxiety but I do know that sometimes the mind can be a scary place and after certain incidents, we can feel like we're often out of control. I liked the Girl Online trilogy too because it was clearly based on Zoe's real life experiences with anxiety. I'm not surprised some of the techniques she included in the book actually helped! You should send this blog post to Zoe, even if she may not see it. I think she'll be happy to see that she's helped someone. I think that will inspire her to hopefully help others who are in a similar situation to you. Good luck with your mental health journey! 💜
ReplyDeleteYeah, the Girl Online books are some of my all time favourites 👌
DeleteI tagged her in a story sharing the post but she didn't see it haha, hopefully one day though
Thank you so much and thank you for being so understanding 😊